ohdaeman-blog asked:
Like what are we talking when we're talking asslong here?? How does this translate into other standard units of measurement?? I need to be able to adequately convey something in asslongs. I also need to know what we're going to use for galactically applicable units here. If an asslong is 2.5 feet, for instance, that's .000473 miles. That's .00000000000508843 AUs. That's .00000000000000008046 Light years. We clearly need to come up with something more applicable to such overwhelming distances.

pope-pepsi-xv:

According to the classical definition, one asslong is approximately equivalent (and this is just putting it into the closest other form of measurement) to around 3.75 buttloads. 1 buttload of course being roughly equivalent to 450 litres. So by that logic, an asslong would be equivalent to about 1,688 litres. 1 litre stretched out by a ratio of 1:50 to get the closest possible length measurement would be about 3 metres. We end up with close to 5km of ass, by this process. I have seen the faults with this system, and as our society grows more and more technologically advanced, we will slowly branch out to the stars, which obviously require some sort of new great measurement of distance.

Therefore from this day forth, I am officially declaring the old and outdated definition of an asslong to be null and void. Enough of this barbarically small measurement of the ass.

As of today, the new asslong unit (AL) measures a volume approximate to roughly that of (4/3 ((π1(.400000e+10)^3))) parsecs. For clarification, this would be equivalent to the estimated volume of the known universe.

Or, in laymans terms: “yeah, he love dis fat ass… *nickis nasty laugh*”

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